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A lot has happened this past year.

The details are boring.

The result is a much happier person.

I used to hate life... Now I adore it.

I used to throw it away... Now I cherish every second.

The previous posts were the delusional ramblings of a spoiled yet sheltered child.

This child is in the process of growing up and re-learning.

I went on a quest... A journey through my mind.

I saw some very disturbing and frightening things inside there.

I came out bruised, battered, terrified, but okay.

I'm healing nicely.

I finally got what I wanted... Which was a way out of my depression.

I've been blessed.

I searched for truth. I found something better. The ability to not ask questions.

The ability to be content with just "this".

Truth is a crazy thing..

Everyone's looking for it, but does it exist?

What can be truth?

In order to search for the "truth".. That must mean you understand that something is a "lie".

What is it about our life that causes us to search for more?

Why do we require "truth", when what's in front of us is beautiful as it is.

I used to say what's in front of us is a lie... But it's not.

What is, is.

We don't need to know beyond "this".. Because "this" is hard enough to handle on it's own.

I think that's what Jesus was trying to explain to us.

Matthew 6:34

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Double meaning... Don't worry about literally tomorrow because today has enough problems.... And don't worry about the after life because this life has enough head aches and is hard enough to understand..

I asked some serious questions to God... I asked the toughest questions that our race has.

And that's the answer I got.

I got that answer many times before but was not satisfied with it.

So I pushed and pushed and pushed.

I eventually got Him to give in a little bit...

He showed me a small taste of the answers I sought and it almost destroyed me.

Short version.. I'm content with this life.

I'm happy to be alive.

I'm happy that I exist.

I'm happy.

And grateful.

And amazed at how awesome God is.

He gave me someone at the perfect time...

He sent someone to me when I needed her most...

He gave me the woman of my dreams.

She's so beautiful. Her soul is a gem.

She comforts me on a level that no one in the world ever has, or could.

She understands me.

She's seen the worst sides of me and stood firm.

She'll always be there for me.

And for that, she receives all the love that exists in my soul.

I will hold nothing back from her. I will spare no expense for her happiness.

I hold her so dear to my heart.

I consider her "The One".

I consider her to be mine.

and I am hers.

I'm not letting her go as I've so easily let the other ones slip away.

She means too much to me.

My search is over.

There are girls from my past that will always have a special place in my heart but she means the world to me....

She relates to me more than anyone ever could.

To be honest this blog doesn't even bother me anymore to write...

I'm content. I'm happy. I don't know where I'll be next year, but I know I'll be with my girl.

I guess we'll see right? lol

Anyways I'll make another update one day.

Bai ^_^