Evolving

So to sum it up..

The last 3 years, I worked in a pizza shop, quit my job, founded my own recycling company, had a convertible Mercedes, made almost a million dollars, lived in a mansion, lived every corner of this country (NY, Miami, Houston, Las Vegas, LA, Seattle, Chicago, Cleveland, Philly, NJ and everywhere in between) , took a drug that made me hallucinate and freak out for two years, went to therapy for it, got married, moved to Canada, went broke, sold my car, got divorced and now I'm writing this in my mother's house where I first began, but my little sister has my old, bigger room and I have her room.

What did I learn from this experience?

I'm broken, bruised, battered, and weathered but I'm stronger, refined, more in touch with who I am, and realistic in my goals and desires.

I'm warm, tender, but in no way a pushover.

I used to be naive, and too easy going.

I let people walk over me, and take what they wanted because I was the nice guy.

I let people control my emotions, and trick me, and lie to me, and I happily believed their lies.

Now I'm still that nice guy but I've seen so much in these last three years that I doubt anyone could ever pull the wool over these eyes again.

But who knows. The one thing I've really come to learn is you never truly know anything or anyone.

I have a lot of regrets. A lot of missed opportunities. A lot of bad decisions that I've made.

But they all turned me into who I am currently.

And I'm just healing. I'm in the healing phase of an extreme culture shock.

I went from so many different lifestyles and situations and cities and houses that my mind is still adjusting to it all and digesting the information I've crammed into this brain of mine.

I hope to one day get back on my feet.

I want a house, I want my car back, I want to be able to support a family again.

I can't even support myself right now.

And it's all because of one bad move after another.

Maybe I should get a simple 10 dollar an hour job for now to get my mind back in order.

I'll update in a year or so when I've gotten myself back together.

Can't keep a good man down for long.

Reading my old posts and this post now comparing them, I seem to really have matured a lot.

But I don't know if that's a good thing.