The Empire Strikes Back

I've been watching Star Wars with Samantha the last week. She's never seen them until now. The Force Awakens is in theatres and I would like to go see it. I can't see it without her, it's mean.

I'm thinking a lot. About the past. It's a thing I do. I've been smoking too much weed lately. But when ever I stop, I seem to be getting stupider. I may be addicted.

I've been back in Vancouver for over a year. Had my reasons for leaving. I was on top of the world for a minute. Now I'm back at the bottom of the barrel. It's strange. I can't seem to understand why I always fall into this pit. I get really motivated for a short period of time and make a lot of progress and then I just stop caring about it all after a few mishaps. I suppose it's strengthened me after all this time. I just can't believe it's been almost 6 whole years since I met my father. And that it's been almost 3 years since I left him at a gas station in Vegas. Life sure is strange.

I'm 26 years old. Time is flying so fast. I've had this dream of being a famous musician since I was 16. In the last 10 years I didn't move any closer to my goal. I've become a better musician, definitely. But I have not accomplished my goal. Am I a failure? I promise a lot but really only rarely ever deliver. I can't say I'm a failure because I have actually done some pretty amazing things. I've made more money than most people make in a lifetime. But I've also spent it. I'm tired of repeating the same cycle. I need to find my purpose. And then serve it.

I think my memory is going.

It's becoming harder and harder for me to remember things. Important things. Things that make me "me".

I need to start writing more. Longer, detailed posts that I can read back years later. Just like I'm probably doing right now some time in 2020.

Just a note to my older self: I'm glad you finally found your purpose. And I'm glad you're finally happy. Please remember to enjoy the time you have. I know you're thinking about me right now. I'm thinking about you. Would be nice to be able to have a 2 way conversation so that I can learn what you know and be proud of you the way you're proud of me, but I guess I'll just have to take the long way around to meet you.


Basically 2015 was a whole year remembering what I did in June and July 2014.

Here's to 2016 being productive, happy, and blessed.


tl;dr I got remarried to Samantha, I closed a 500k contract, got 150k cash out of it, it went sour, spent all the money, I moved back to Vancouver, and I'm now reflecting on life.