It's been 2 full years since my last post. And 10 full years since that whole Isaac Krystal ordeal.
And about 6 and a half, 7 years since the time I overdosed on Spice.
So here's some key things I learned very recently.
1. When I overdosed, I had some sort of seizure or stroke. This caused me semi permanent brain damage. The trauma from the hallucinations and the psychosis caused me to inwardly collapse. In a sense, I almost died that day. And the tiny bits of "me" that were still left, were slowly dying as the years went on. I lost "myself" that day in May 2011.
That's why in my last post I said:
“I think my memory is going.
It's becoming harder and harder for me to remember things. Important things. Things that make me "me".
I need to start writing more. Longer, detailed posts that I can read back years later. Just like I'm probably doing right now some time in 2020.”
Because my memory was actually going. I forgot that I knew my memory was going at some point I just lost who I was.
2. Lion's mane mushroom is a miracle that drug companies don't really like because you can't patent it. I started taking Lion's mane mushroom about a week ago. Within hours I felt amazing. Yes it could be the placebo effect because Lion's mane takes a few weeks to fully kick in but... honestly I doubt it. Because the main reason I started taking it was to cure my HPPD. A physical condition resulting from the loss of brain cells caused by the overdose. My vision was bad. I went to an eye doctor to check them out he said they were fine. Only other explanation is that it was a brain issue. I would see millions of little white sparks like mini mosquitos in my field of vision at all times. Always there but blending in with the background. Didn't notice it much unless I look at the sky. Now it's still there but way less apparent. Another thing is that when I look at objects, they stay burnt on my retina and take a lot longer to go away than usual. Since taking Lion's mane, this has gone down significantly. It's still there. Definitely. But I can tell sooner or later it will cure it. It's because of Lion's mane's NGF content. I'll leave you to Google that. I don't want to make this post about it.
The next amazing thing that happened that I didn't even expect was memory restoration.
I remember things I forgot. That bit about me forgetting important things that make me "me"? Well yeah I'm remembering now.
To me this is the most amazing and unbelievable thing that could ever happen to me.
It all started with my obsession for nootropics.
ODDLY enough it was Isaac who introduced me to the idea of nootropics in 2013 that led me down this path. So I guess I owe him my life. Literally. That bastard... He toyed with me for 4 years, and then made up for it by being the sole cause of my restoration.
Eh what ever.
I had a point to this..
Some things happened in the last 2 years that changed me completely. Again....
So I won't get into it because my future self reading this back knows exactly what I mean. (Key words to remember if somehow you forget: WE WERE A FUCKING ASSHOLE)
You.... We.... I.... well I honestly think this version of us was a result from the brain damage. But you're further along in the story than I am and you're nodding in agreement reading this with more knowledge on the subject. I'm sure you figured a lot of things out.
The brain damaged version of us caused a lot of havoc and ruined peoples lives.
He... took the best parts of us and used it for evil... He manipulated and pulled strings to fulfill his own sick fantasies... I've always been strange but.... this was strange even for me.
I consider that to be my darkest time.
Who knows... Future me.. You might be regretting worse things. I hope not.
So.. I got kicked out of Canada. As a result of this destructive behavior.
I was left on the street to fend for myself. I caused Samantha a lot of heart break.
I became an Uber driver for about 9-10 months.
I had over 10,000 conversations during that time which I attribute to much of my intellectual growth. Even though I was brain damaged during those conversations. New neurons were built and stimulated although I craved the old ones.
I talked with CEO's of major corporations. Programmers. Engineers. Scientists. Psychologists. I got an education in that car in 9 months that I believe taught me more than the previous 26 years.
Every day for my lunch break I would watch Shark Tank. It got to the point where I knew so much about business and I knew Mark, Kevin, Robert, Lori, Barbara and Daymond so well that I was predicting all of their responses.
I know Kevin loves licensing deals and is a soft hearted asshole who buys wine and has no problem telling someone how dumb he thinks they are unless he feels he can make money. Then he goes from asshole to ass kiss, he has a soft spot for people who are soft but are forced to be cold. Barbara takes risks when she hears something she doesn't understand but everyone else seems to know. She figures billions have been made on tech she hasn't the faintest clue how it works, and if 2 or more sharks agree, she'll bite. She has a soft spot for young geeks and she's a major cougar. Daymond loves black people lmao okay that's racist but if you're reading this Daymond tell me it's not true... He will give favor to a black entrepreneur because that spirit reminds him of himself and I guess he always just wanted a chance before he got one.
My hand is cramping up hard to type.
Long story short i grew in street smarts.
Now im learning progamming and machine learning to implement my ideas
my goal is AI
I want to see how long it takes to create it after this post. Will update asap
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